Female Pleasure: How To Go For What You Want From Your Sex Life

In 2017, a survey revealed that only 2 out of 10 women had often experienced pleasure during their sexual intercourse of the year. Does this number surprise you? As far as sexologists are concerned, we are talking about 3 or 4 out of 10 women who had an orgasm. But the figure of the study is not astonishing as it still needs to be relativizes, because it is often wrongly a shortcut between orgasm and pleasure. Fortunately, women who do not have an orgasm usually have fun during sex nevertheless.

In an era that values ​​sexual fulfillment, why do women still seem to be restrained? There is a certain contradiction between the very liberated speech and the real shyness of women. They think too much and do not let go, which prevents them from accessing orgasm. They are in permanent control, a need that is dictated by complex or being afraid to be judged by the significant other. They are ashamed to put themselves in certain positions that would be more pleasant. Others let themselves be led, and are passive during sexual intercourse. But you must always be a little selfish and go for orgasm yourself.

According to this study, the most common sexual practices are not the ones that favor female pleasure the most. Would women not be dissatisfied because they do not verbalize their desire? Yes, because they are often convinced that their partner knows, that he guesses. Of course, this is the case when the couple has known each other for a long time, but we often have several sexual partners now. One gesture can work with one woman and not stimulate another. Often they opt for sexual positions that appeal to their partner. But contrary to the reflex masculine orgasm, that of the woman is provoked when several zones are stimulated at the same time, by caresses and kisses. Only penetration is rarely enough. The context is also more or less favorable to pleasure and orgasm. Children absent from the house, an erotic atmosphere, sexual games…

Why do not women dare to ask? In our Christian culture, women are conditioned to be careful. But formulating what we want implies that the partner is not satisfactory. It affects the performance and we are afraid to hurt, to create tension. This explains that women simulate. We are also afraid of changing our image. What will he think if I want wilder foreplay games? We would go from madonna to libertine, and for some, it does not happen. This is often the case in women who become mothers.

So how to talk about it without hurting your partner’s feelings? It is discussed in a private moment between the two, but it should be done outside the sexual relationship, to avoid catching him off guard. Approach the subject during a quiet moment at home or at the restaurant. You always have to say the positive and then bounce back by proposing: “I loved the last time when you did that, so I thought we could do this”. Share it in a way that does not lead your man to think that he made a mistake. During lovemaking itself, one can also simply use body language.

Published by Evelyn Green