Finding Your Way Out Of Emotional Dependence
If you have this problem – face it, because you deserve a healthy and adult relationship, without the constraints of anxiety and fear. It could happen if you identify yourself in one of these three cases:
- You started a relationship for the wrong reasons. Go out with him for fear of being alone or because all your friends are girlfriends. Pairing with these assumptions you have tried to fill the void you have inside, instead doing so you have declined the responsibility of your self-esteem and tied your value as a person to the feelings that another person feels.
- You don’t trust him. You are gripped by jealousy and are victim of paranoid fears, that not even a nice evening together with him or a holiday together can remove. You are suspicious and often fear that he is lying to you. You call him and send him messages to reduce anxiety and fool yourself that you are keeping him under control.
- Experience a dependent relationship. Feel a void inside you that you cannot fill and look for in the other person. You suffer and torment yourself with a thousand ugly thoughts, you constantly seek confirmation from him because you feel insecure and fragile.
You too will agree that, in all three cases, this is not love.
If you follow these three steps you can begin to get rid of your emotional addiction by focusing on esteem and love for yourself:
- Don’t fear loneliness. Are you afraid of being left alone and do you flee from yourself as a reaction and do you look for the security you need in your partner? You’re just afraid of “being” and that’s why you keep “doing”. How can you overcome this fear? Learn to appreciate solitude, gradually, doing pleasant and rewarding things while you are alone: watch a good movie, read a book, go for a run… You will discover that there is nothing to fear in doing activities alone and that, indeed , can be extremely pleasant.
- Find out who you really are. Are you looking for yourself and do you have a negative image of yourself? In this case you may feel even stronger the need for a partner that gives you security. Begin to find out who you really are and what you really want, without being influenced by him or what you think he expects from you. Learn to be comfortable with yourself. Let yourself go to and do not fear his judgment of anyone else.
- Don’t take away your source of emotional dependency. You have discovered that you are emotionally dependent on your partner and now you want to let go. Warning: you risk feeling empty and replacing it with another relationship and falling back into the loop. It is important that you understand the causes of your emotional addiction: if your relationship is really unhealthy, cut it, but take some time to reflect and understand who you are, what you want from yourself and from the person you choose to have next.